Takis was inhaling deeply from a half-smoked joint while Makis was swigging beer from a six-pack he had just nicked from the kitchen of the flat across the hall.
Through half-closed lids, they watched the prime minister being driven to parliament in his bullet-proof BMW, wondering how much they could sell it for if they could ever lay hands on it.
Then they almost fell asleep as Mr Papandreou, Mrs Damanaki and Mrs Papariga came one after the other, ‘talking crap as usual,” as Makis put it. They sat up a bit at the next report of a fire that was raging in a papermill at Votanikos, after which Makis threw his empty beer can across the room and shouted:
“Now why the hell didn’t we get that job? “
Their professional interest was further aroused by the next item: a report of a bank robbery that had taken place that very morning in Pangrati, of all places.
“Hey,” Takis yelled. “That’s just around the corner from us. Can you beat that?”
The teller who had handed over sixteen million drachmas to the robbers was being interviewed.
“The man held a shotgun in my face. He was twitching all over with nervousness. I thought the gun would go off with the next twitch. So what could I do, I handed over the money, staring Charon in the face all the time,” he said.
“I’ll bet he peed in his pants too,” Takis said , gleefully.
When the weather report came on, · Takis switched the set off and turned to his pal.
“Look, Makis, we gotta take stock of what’s been happenin’ to us these last coupla months. It’s getting harder and harder to get into the rich houses in Psychiko, Kifissia and Ekali, what with those killer dogs they’ve got, barkin’ their heads off, and those security systems like Pizza Hut, Katranzos Sport and Group whatever.”
“You mean Wackenhut, Katranzos and Group 4,” Makis corrected him.
“I said whatever. Don’t innarrupt. As I said, it’s gettin’ harder to get into houses and cars ‘coz of all this sophisticated gadgetry that’s goin’ aroun’. An’ when we do get some stuff, we get stiffed by the fences . Sometimes I think we could make more dough just faggotbashing on Syngrou, the way things are nowadays.”
“So what should we do? Marry Christina Onassis’s daughter?” “No, you jerk. Don’t you see? Everybody’s robbin’ banks these days and getting away with it . So why shouldn’t we? We’ve got the brains, we’ve got the guts. All we need is a coupla irons an’ we’re all set. Mr Vranopoulos, here we come!”
A couple of weeks later, after having thoroughly examined the layout of the bank around the corner from where they lived – the one that had already been robbed – and checked the time the security van made its early morning delivery, Takis and Makis crept out of their apartment building, each with a sawed-off shotgun hidden in a plastic bag, and a stocking mask ready to pull over their faces.
“Now remember,” Takis said. “Twitch like crazy when you poke the gun in the teller’s face. That really scares the shit outa them.” Makis nodded.
“An’ soon’s we’re outside again, we nip round the corner, we rip the masks off and saunter into our house, all sweet an’ innocent-lookin ‘, like Aliki Vouyouklaki in church.” Makis nodded again and tightened his grip on the shotgun.
A few minutes later the robbery went off like a song. There was no guard in the bank and none of the staff expected to be robbed again so soon.
Makis twitched like a junkie going cold turkey and the teller thrust the millions at him as if they were burning his fingertips.
As they backed out of the door of the bank , ordering the terrified occupants, all lying on the floor, not to move for five minutes or they’d come back and shoot them, Takis and Makis suddenly felt something cold and hard pressing into their backs.
“Don’t move or you’re dead meat,” a rasping voice hissed into their ear. “Put your guns down and hand over the money bags.”
Trembling, Takis and Makis passed back the bags containing the money and then crumbled to the ground as two blows from a gun-butt slammed into their heads. Before passing out, they heard the roar of a motorcycle at full speed, fading into the distance.
Later in the day, behind bars, Takis cradled his throbbing head in his arms and bemoaned his fate.
“Just our luck that those bastards should choose the same bank as us and come just as we were finishing the job. Just our rotten luck.”
Makis shrugged. “I wouldn’t be surprised if they didn’t go round all the banks everyday looking for suckers like us. With so many robberies going on, they were bound to strike lucky.”
