Now, that made me very upset because, being like you, a person married to a VIP, we have many points in common and I want to let you know how much I sympathize with you. I too have had my moments with the press and, having survived them, perhaps I can give you some advice that may relieve your depression and, who knows, perhaps also enable you to overcome this crisis and prevent the fateful break.
But first I shall tell you how I too was photographed in my birthday suit at a beach party and showing much more than you were in the pictures I saw of you, and also with my hand accidentally touching…, but never mind. Suffice it to say that the pictures appeared in the Greek press and caused a terrific scandal. But I survived it, just as I survived that cartoon which appeared in the Daily Mail when my husband was having his heart operation in England. The cartoon showed us both lying on the operating table and the surgeon asking: “Now let’s get this straight. Which one of you is the Greek prime minister?”
It was quite funny, of course, but when I showed it to my husband he couldn’t see the joke. He said: “Can’t the idiot tell. it’s me there, on the left, with no hair?”
My husband has no sense of humor at all. All he thinks about is getting rid of Mitsotakis and being prime minister again. It’s not because we’re short of cash, mind you; even though the divorce made a big hole in his finances – lawyers’ fees mostly, and the settlement, of course – but because he’d like to see me as the first lady of the land, Karamanlis being unmarried. Although I don’t see him lasting long as president if my husband gets in again.
Anyway, the secret is to ignore the press and also to ignore the funny stories they tell about you, like me and the automatic pilot. You can be sure that the people who tell these jokes would give their right arms to be in my shoes and it isn’t everybody who can rise from air hostess to ex-premier’s and maybe future premier’s wife. It needs a special quality that you and I both have, and I don’t mean the frontispieces, if you get my drift.
And even if we show them, what’s all the fuss about? Millions of women round the world sit on beaches an naturel and if we, who stand at the top of the social ladder do it, we are merely giving our blessings to those millions and making them feel better by allaying any guilt feelings they may have about going against the teachings of the church.
And talking of the church, what’s this I hear about your Queen being head of the Church of England? If that is the case, you should tell her to keep a tighter rein, (or should it be reign?) on those members of her clergy I read about in the News of the World and show more concern about the choirboys than about what you do or don’t do with Brian what’s-his-name. And if she and the other royals take time off polo-playing and exterminating the wildlife of Scotland to have a bash at you, just curl up with a book by Milan Kundera (my favorite author) and ignore them.
Well, Fergie, I hope I’ve cheered you up somewhat with this letter and I do hope you’ll patch things up with Andrew and live happily ever after. But if the divorce is inevitable, then I must urge you to get in touch with Margaret – not your husband’s aunt, but the other one. She knows all the ropes and I’m sure that if you follow her advice, you’ll live happily ever after even without a title.
With all my love,
Mimi
