As a public service, I am having the form reprinted here and anyone interested in filling it in can send it directly to PASOK headquarters in Ekali.
Dear Friend,
By filling in this form and sending it to us, you may be accepted as a full member of PASOK, a youthful party with progressive ideas, founded by Andreas Papandreou whose clear thinking and inspired leadership has completely changed the face of the country and whose victory at the forthcoming elections will allow him to carry out the reforms and changes he did not have time to complete during his eight years of power, making Greece one of the most prosperous and dynamic countries in Europe and vindicating the socialist theories that are being abandoned by the countries of Eastern Europe (undermined and sabotaged by reactionary forces) but which, fortunately, are still being applied by Cuba and Albania.
Please answer the following questions with with a brief “yes” or “no” and be honest in your replies. They will enable us to judge whether you are acceptable for full membership and, provided we win the next elections, all the privileges that go with it.
- Do you have a shock of untidy hair, a large moustache and generally look rather unkempt and disreputable?
- Is there anyone in Greece you admire more than Mr Papandreou (barring bouzouki singers, basketball players, etc.)?
- Do you agree that the judicial inquiry on phone tapping and the other charges against Mr Papandreou should be dropped and that a full investigation be carried out on the ownership by Mr Mitsotakis of an apartment in Paris?
- Do you agree that the economy was doing very well before it was ruined by the Tzannetakis government?
- Do you consider the failure of the Alliance of the Left to give its full backing to PASOK a myopic policy, in spite of the three-lensed glasses on their posters?
- Is it not true that Mr Papandreou never met Mr Koskotas but only waved to him from a distance at some cocktail party?
If you have answered “yes” to all the above questions you will have passed the first hurdle to full membership. Now you must answer the following questions to help us decide whether you are totally qualified.
- Will you be seeking an appointment in the civil service or the public utilities or a state-controlled bank or other institution?
- If you are, and if you are appointed, how much time can you spare at that job from your other activities?
- What per diem would you consider fair for being bussed or flown to PASOK political rallies all over the country?
- If you have enough qualifications for a ministerial post (membership in PAK, friendship with Mr Papandreou while he was an Opposition leader, substantial contributions to PASOK budgets, etc.) and you get one, will you take it in good spirit if you hear on TV one day that you have been fired?
- If Mr Papandreou needs another operation at any time in the future (God forbid!) are you prepared to go to London and hang around the hospital every day until he gets better?
- And when he is no longer with us (may that day be very far off) will you be prepared to transfer your allegiance to his son, George Papandreou, who will follow in the steps of his illustrious father and grandfather and carry out the projects announced eight years ago and unforgivably delayed by the Tzannetakis and Zolotas governments, such as the diversion of the Achellos River, the alumina plant, the Athens metro, the Rion-Antirion bridge and many others?
