Letter from Friki

Hotel Xenophilia, (A’ Class), Island of Friki, Greece.

Mr Seymour S Sisskind
1456 Ocean Avenue
Santa Monica, CA 90401

July 16, 1988

Dear Mr Sisskind,
We were very sorrowing to receive your telegram of yesterday by which you are cancelling the reservation for you and the graceful Mrs Sisskind for two weeks from August 1, and asking what are the cancellation charges.

Dear Mr Sisskind, before we are beginning the conversation about cancellation charges you will permit us please to try and convince you that the cancellation is not necessary.

We are very suspicious that you are cancelling the reservation because of the “City of Poros” and that you are afraid someone is shooting you with machine guns when you come to Friki from Piraeus on the “Panaghia Roumeliotissa”.

I want you to believe me, Mr Sisskind, when I tell you that this is impossible and I shall explain to you why.
The · captain of the “Panaghia Roumeliotissa” is the second cousin of my wife and I know him many years. On the last arrival of his ship in Friki we are drinking ouzo in the bar of the hotel and he is telling me such a thing can never happen on the “Panaghia Roumeliotissa” because in July and August the passengers are so tight on the ship nobody can move. Also his eye is so good he is recognizing terrorists from their faces and throwing them out of the ship immediately.

Also you, of course, will be in a cabin where there is no danger if you are locking it and opening only when the logistic officer is coming round for the tickets.

Mr Sisskind, if you are reading the newspapers you will see that the Minister of Tourism is saying everything is under control and that nobody is cancelling reservations from Europy and only one or two from America which I hope is not you.

It is a great pity if you are not coming to our hotel this year after all the new things we are doing which I exposed in my letter of last January. The system with the pantry on every floor is succeeding and all the clients are having now coffee and tea that is so hot some of them are burning themselves when they drink it. The shower with sweet water οn the beach is also succeeding and our clients are washing their feet now and not bringing sand to their rooms.

My nephew Aristotelis is giving windsurfing lessons and has many customers but sometimes he is flirting too much with the girl clients and is scandalizing everybody so much I am forced to make him the remark.
The Folkloric Society of Friki is making a show at the hotel on Tuesday and Friday evenings in the small space in the dining room in front of the buffet with girls in the traditional costume and boys with the handkerchief doing the folkloric dancing but happily they are not kicking so much and making damages.

Finally, Mr Sisskind, my daughter Aspasia is choosing all the best film from the Video Club and showing them every night. She is having a passion with Clint Eastwood and we are seeing Dirty Harry three times already.

So, as you can see, everything here is normal and I am hoping you will cancel your cancellation and we are holding your reservation for good and bad, if the reason of your telegram is the “City of Poros”.
If there is another reason, like a family hypothesis or superior force, then we understand and will not make cancellation charges, but it is our sincere hope that you will give us the chance once more to hospitalize you and do everything to comfort and enjoy you. Yours very friendly,

Xenophon Kalosoridis
Manager-Proprietor